You are not alone:  resistance happens to everyone.  Generally, it is so devious you won’t be aware that you’re resisting.

The truth is when we come up against our resistance it can be intense.  In these moments when we feel stuck in resistance, we are turning away from life. 

There is no movement.          

Roadblock

Resistance is a wall situated between you and who you want to become.  Some keep hitting against this invisible barrier and are left feeling separate, confused, frustrated, disoriented and unable to make any sense of this.  

Unconscious resistance is a defender against conflicting and painful feelings that are forbidden. 

Always coming up with seemingly reasonable excuses not to do something, go somewhere or see someone. You find ways to avoid meditating or any self-care. 

 

Our Shadow

The shadow contains the parts of you that you don’t want to admit having.  It lives in our unconscious.  Only through deliberate awareness can we recognize it.  It is uncomfortable. 

• Have you have ever felt not in control and wanting to hide away?  That’s your shadow controlling you.

• Our shadow self is working against something, it’s resisting something.

• Each of us has a shadow self, and the less embodied it is in your conscious life – the denser and darker it is. 

• It lives where there are repressed, shameful and rejected parts and emotions: rage, envy, hatred, dishonesty, arrogance and selfishness. 

We may witness the chaos it creates, but more often than not we block it out.

 

Emotional Reactions

In childhood we may have learned to hide away parts of ourselves that were not met with approval, in order to be accepted and loved.  Or we grew up in circumstances where we were unable to fight back or leave: those situations forced us to ignore our pain. 

Our defense system is the way we survive difficult experiences.  It’s how our psyche protects us from deep, emotional distress.  It was essential for us not to feel what we felt.  That was our intelligence at work which helped us survive in an unbearable situation. 

In the natural order of life there is always a balancing that happens: whatever we internalize will eventually end up being externalized in one way or another. 

• Over time we can become extremely clever at disguising and denying our pain.

• This unintegrated, stuck energy acts out as numbness, anger, depression and shame.

• Addressing this requires awareness of the resistance shielding us from facing our uncomfortable feelings. 

We cannot heal what we do not consciously acknowledge.

 

Gateway

Our shadow wants to be known.  It is longing to be explored, understood and integrated.  It wants to be brought out into the light.  The more the shadow is ignored the more it invents ways to act out, making you aware of its existence. 

It is essential to witness our deepest emotions and our conditioned responses to them.

• Approach your resistance with compassion and curiosity.  You are starting to presence something that had been hidden away. 

• Part of the initial mandate was to protect you by keeping you distanced, disconnected, or dissociated.

• Our aim is to recognize the core of our resistance. 

• As we presence our old conditioning, it’s important to find a way to hold it softly with kindness. 

This may feel unattainable but it will bring you freedom. 

Discovery

Each of us holds both light and dark within us.  The more we project or deny our shadow, the more it spins into a destructive force in our life.   

Our shadows are so much more than darkness and carry a wisdom that can move into our consciousness. 

Within the shadow rests some of our most powerful gifts and abilities:  creativity, innovation, sensuality, intuitiveness, expressive and spiritual nature.

Presencing and integrating our shadow self allows its transformation both in us and in the world. 

The essence of shadow work is to embody our deep knowing and reconnect with our essential self. As you allow yourself to accept more parts of you, you send more love out into the world.

 

Surveying the Light

With shadow work we become more aware of what is hidden.  Opening to wonder and allowing our hearts to gently awaken to the emerging beauty in ourselves and others.

Consider that what we most admire in others is trying to come to the surface.  Pay attention to the gifts we most appreciate in others, because they may signal a diamond already within ourselves.

Perhaps we were not ready to claim our ability.  Recognizing it in another may shift us to bravely welcome it.  When we are touched by someone else’s light, our shadow finds some expression of what is already hidden within us.